Some Things Get Better While Others Go Down Hill......

For most of us, each day brings new challenges and struggles - for those of us with autoimmune issues, these can be complex.  It always amazes me that I will have a day or two that is fairly good by my standards, and I fall for the joke my body plays on me.  I start to think - am I better??  Am I really sick at all or is this all in my head?  Maybe I can do whatever I want and I just don't realize it.  Maybe all of my symptoms and conditions have disappeared and I was not aware of it.  Then --- as suddenly as the good days came, they are gone and the wave of pain, fatigue, confusion and too much more flood me with the reality that it is not in my head and yes I am still just what I thought I was  - someone who is very limited in function.

What is worse is when I begin to believe that I can do what I dream about doing -- over doing --- then I am quickly reminded what the cost of over doing is!!!  Days or even weeks of more debilitating symptoms than what I normally experience on a daily basis.  Therefore, we walk a tight rope - do enough to help but don't do too much.  Add to that the fact that this can be a different equation on any given day - it is not a sure thing or something that we can know for sure at any time.  Today - maybe I can wash and fold a couple of loads of laundry and be ok - tomorrow that may be too much.  It is all trial and error and more trial.  I tend to push the envelope and I personally believe that is I why I am not completely bedridden, but it could also be why my condition is moderate to severe rather than mild - who knows.  The only thing that I know for sure is that I am going to try to live this life that I have in the best way that I can as long as I can take a breath.  I would rather push a little to stay alert and enjoy my family and I believe that we each have to fight so that this monster does not over take us and take over our lives.  Don't ever give up the fight!  That is what keeps us going.