So Much Joy and Some Tears....

This year has included so much joy for our family as two of our four boys will be married by year's end.  The first was in April in the beautiful Spring we enjoy here in the South.  The second will be a wonderful Fall wedding which is also a gorgeous time of the year here as it is cooler and the leaves are bright and colorful.  So that means that three out of four have found someone to share their lives with and we are so very fortunate to have such wonderful young women in our lives.

This year also has ushered in the final year of high school for our youngest and he will graduate next spring.  My how time flies and it truly does seem like yesterday that he was toddling around in diapers with a toothless grin and bald head.

Sadly - these happy occasions with all of the accompanying joy and love also bring about tears and frustration when you have a chronic illness.  Now I realize these are tearful moments for everyone, but for me, I shed a few tears here and there for different reasons.  There is the frustration that comes when we cannot afford to do as much as we would like for our boys because Mom hasn't worked for almost five years; there is the sadness I feel when I can't physically do things that I would like to, and be involved in their activities and festivities; and then there are the tears when at the end of a wonderful day of joy I am racked with pain and stiffness that will keep me from sleeping and the impending doom I will experience knowing that this overdone body of mine will revolt and remind me that it is no longer capable of doing what I so long to do.

But along with all of the tears, we experience the joy of our children and the fact that I can be present, even if in a limited way, and enjoy these triumphs in their young lives and make memories that I hope will be with them for a lifetime.  As with anything in life, we all have valleys and peaks and as I have been told, without the valleys, there would be no peaks.  I chose to embrace it all and enjoy every minute for life is short and time will not stand still for anyone.  As the old song goes I wouldn't have missed it for the world......

Miracles....What Do You Think....

Miracles are subjective in many cases......sometimes I think it is a miracle if I lose a pound.  Many would say that is just in versus out - science.  We can all chose what we deem to be miracles - or can we?  Sometimes there is no logic to it, we just BELIEVE!  Miracles aren't about logic - they defy logic and common sense.  We don't know why and we can't explain it.  There have been several outstanding miracles around me in the last year and then there are smaller unnoticeable ones each and every day.  I have to be aware and open my eyes wide, sniff them out and most of all be open to the possibility of their existence.  We can all do it - it just takes practice. 

This year I am making a strong effort to Believe and look for miracles around me as well as doing my best to be as positive as I can absolutely be.  What does all of this have to do with chronic illness you say....everything!  It is proven scientific fact that our attitudes about life have a strong impact on how we recover and live our lives.  I know that when I am in a negative frame of mind, I feel much worse.  I know and realize that some of this is not in our control but if we just try to take control of what we can and chose to see things with rose colored glasses, they will become more rosy.  What can it hurt to try - we may feel a little silly at first and some will think we are crazy but hey who cares.....

I have to thank Susan Branch  for the graphic above.  She is a wonderful artist and her blog and web site bring me joy each and everyday and I don't even need my rosy glasses to view it.  She is pure joy and I steal borrow from her all the time.  She is such a great inspiration.

http://www.lilblueboo.com/choosejoy

Another miracle worker you will want to visit is Ashley - she is the artist/brains behind Lil Blue Boo!    Please take a minute to read about and get to know Ashley, Boo and Mr. LBB - they are the most amazing family and Ashley has taken a scary situation and made it joyful!  Her motto is Choose Joy! and she lives it everyday, even with chemo, loosing her hair and so much more upheaval in her young life.  Ashley is the age of my children and I so completely admire her and love her from afar.  But more than that she is an inspiration to me and so many others each and everyday in every way.  Each day I pray for Ashley's Miracle and I hope that you all will do so as well.  She is a miracle for each of us!