WAFM to DAHM

First I was a work away from home Mom and it was very hard....then I was a SAHM - stay at home mom and mother of 4- then I tried being a WAHM - work at home mom and that was awesome......But now I am a DAHM - Disabled at home Mom and I am doing the best that I can to make that Okay! Recently I have added caregiver and advocate to my 84 year old mother who suffers from Dementia and mental illness. Such is life... I hope you visit here and find a reason to smile and a little Joy!

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Press the Rest Button.....

Wow - how many times have I wished I had one of these.  I get so used to being able to have a do over, back up, pause, redo in so many aspects of life today.  But.....in real life how can we reset???  I was hoping that taking an actual vacation this year - first one in years - would help me to find that allusive rest button.  Helped it did, but it was not a magical spell that gave me the brain power to do what I need and want to do.  So I have been doing my best to find tools and routines that will aid in this endeavor.  I thought I would share some of that for those of us who have problems with time, memory and so many more issues that hang out with these chronic illnesses.  It's bad enough to not feel well but we all want to regain some control of our days and as a result, our lives.

This past August I was able to participate in a virtual camp - Camp Reset - presented by Cori Speiker
whom I adore and I love all that she does in the reset community.  If you aren't aware Cori's group is all about resetting our lives, taking care of ourselves, and living a more centered and intentional life.  These things are particular soft spots and weaknesses for me.  For many years I've felt that I just existed and made it through the day.  I wasn't unhappy, I just had no purpose or ideals.   Although I still fluctuate every day, I do feel that I am moving in the right direction and taking control of my day to day.  When I lie my head on my pillow at night now, most days I feel that I have accomplished something and I am excited and looking forward to the next day.  I truly believe we all need that in our lives to feel complete.  Check Cori out and I promise you that if you are open to change you will improve your life in so many ways.

Another thing that I have talked about so many times is pacing!  I know that just sounds like so much hooey and I was not sure what others meant in the past when I heard this idea discussed.  Simply put you pace your way through your day.  Using your energy just like any fuel, you move and accomplish things for a bit of time and rest then repeat throughout the day.  While I'm resting I will look through my phone, send messages, read...just whatever I feel like.  Other times I may nap a bit to refresh myself.  No matter what I do while resting it has to refuel my brain and body.  Then I am ready to take on more tasks.  Using this method I am able to actually accomplish things I haven't been able to do in years.  It's always been my go to to push myself to full exhaustion and then I'm down and out for hours and maybe even days.  If you Google Pacing through illness, there are lots of articles out there about this.

One of the most important things I have done to aid in pacing is to create a space for myself to have
downtime while still functioning.  In our little office I have a small love seat that reclines and a work table that serves as my desk.  I can sit in this seat and have my laptop plugged in, my phone charging, and my tablet streaming anything I would like to watch from YouTube videos to television.  The fact that it reclines makes it so much more restful for me.  This little room is just off my kitchen which allows me to get tasks done a little at a time during the day.  In the past I have tried to do this in a bedroom or our living room and it just never worked - I felt too isolated in the bedroom and too much in the way in the main living areas.  I also believe that most of us need to be able to have a quiet restful place to recharge throughout the day.  Our brains are just not wired to handle the static of life in large amounts.  It can be a corner, a cozy chair....whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Now that I have changed the way that I do things I am finding that my rebound from overdoing is so much better.  What used to put me down for days or even a week will now usually last less than a day. This is a major accomplishment for me.  I really believe that finding a balance between doing and not overdoing is one of the most important things we can do to care for ourselves.    I've heard much criticism of self care as being selfish.  I don't see it that way at all.  Self care is what allows us to recharge so that we are able to do for others and be present in our lives.  It's as necessary as food and water.  We can't be there for anyone else if we are running on empty.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia back in 1991 well before it was a popular diagnosis.  I have been working to have an Attitude of Gratitude.  This is another most important component of dealing with chronic illness.  I have found that anger, frustration, and feeling sorry for myself are all detrimental to both my mental as well as physical health.  Believe me, I still have those moments but I feel that I'm in better control of them and they hang around for shorter periods of time.  I've been
through many phases and tried all sorts of things to improve.  Over the years I have collected several other health conditions that complicate my diagnosis.  I know that I am so very fortunate to be able to still function and I do my best to live my life with an attitude of gratitude....some days its really hard but in my heart I know and realize that I am so very blessed.

I hope that some of these tips are helpful to all who suffer from any type of chronic illness.  It is also my hope that we all bring more understanding to both mental and physical illnesses because without love, kindness and understanding we can not continue to heal and share our world with each other.