Believe it or not, you can turn your disability into a positive thing. It just takes a little time - after you morn the life you won't be having and get over the anger, move on to embrace what you love about your new life. It's not always easy but you can do it!I was thinking about this earlier today and it brought me back to a time years ago when I was 25, the mother of two little boys, 9 months and 3 and they were the center of my existence!! I had a mole on the right side of my chest that had been getting larger and larger for a few years and I kept putting off checking into it - sort of a bury your head in the sand and it will go away kind of thinking. Then in an instant it became an emergency - I was innocently reading a "Good Housekeeping" magazine and in it there was an article about Melanoma - Uh Oh - there were pictures and alarm bells went off and I was in a state of panic. My Dad had died of lung cancer when I was only 17 and since that time I was always on alert for the allusive symptom that would strike me with a similar diagnosis.
Long story short, a friend of mine convinced me to go to the doctor the very next day and my kind old physician told me he feared it was a malignant melanoma and should remove it right away. So, I let him make a deep wide angled cut into my chest that very day and send it off for diagnosis just knowing that I was going to die. All that I could think of was my sweet little boys and what would happen to them - I was obsessed and unfortunately it would take at least a week to get the results back. That was a week of suffering for me and my family - I drove them nuts to say the least - it wasn't about me but about my babies - they needed me. I called my beloved OB/GYN - he had been my doctor since the age of 16 and I talked to him about what this diagnosis could mean - bad idea for someone like me. He told me about these types of cancer metastasizing, commonly going to the brain - Oh my GOD - my boys just did not deserve this.
Well, after a little over a week of non-stop drama, I found out that the mole was benign! I still remember the tremendous sense of relief and I can honestly say that this event changed my life. Some good ways and some bad but changed it all the same! I was so thankful just to do ordnary things and spend time with my babies!! Each day was a gift.... Now I see my disability the same way - not nearly as traumatic but I look at everything differently now and you can too!
I am thankful for the dirty dishes in my sink because that is something that I can still do for my family. I make my 13 year old's bed for him most days because that is a small thing that I can do for him when there are so many things that I can't do. I LOVE doing laundry even though I mess it up sometimes, it makes my guys happy and they appreciate it. The highlight of my day is fetching the mail - because most days I can!! Making a meal, baking cookies, paying a bill - all things that I can do sometimes are all tremendous triumphs and so greatly appreciated by me.
Each day after my son and husband have fallen asleep, and the house is quiet (I am normally still awake because I don't sleep well and dread going to bed) I think back over the day and if I have been able to do at least a couple of things for them, I am so very thankful and I feel my day was a success. Rather than dwell on the many things I can no longer do, I chose to be thankful for what I have learned to appreciate.
