Good Times...Old Friends...

I have been remiss, out of touch lately and have let my blog down. I just haven't had the words...thoughts that would propel me to write the way that I normally do. I have let the depression and anxiety that befalls many who are chronically ill, get me down and keep me there. I have not had the strength to fight the fight in the best way. But......then, out of the blue, this past week I heard from a very old friend. She is not very old - our friendship is. We knew each other as children attending the same church, same Sunday school class, growing up together as children of that era - rarely missing weekday church school or any opportunity when the dark red Lutheran church doors were open. In our time, that was our social life, our touchstone to a life outside our families and it was good - very good.

When I think back on those times, I can pull countless memories that were exceptional, full of just plain fun, craziness and love of live. All of the crushes that we thought we would never survive, dealing with our parents, siblings, starting middle school and high school. We knew each others parents and even grandparents and visited each others home on a regular basis. We were the kind of friends that you don't have to pretend with, that you could spend hours with on the phone gabbing about nothing and everything.

Well, we graduated from high school and went our separate ways and lost touch and 35 years have passed and so much has changed but many things still remain the same. The thought of this type of friendship brings a smile to my face, a bitter sweet look back - glad to be grown and away from those awkward times but a little ache to go back there, even if for just a day or an hour. To feel the breeze in my hair (awful frizzy curly hair in those days) and still have wonder about what would lie ahead. To listen to our favorite songs - The Carpenters - and dream of our true loves, and dance to the Osmonds and The Jacksons and swoon over lost loves. For us it was the Coffee House at our church on Saturday nights - om my gosh - dance and drink sodas and just have fun - anything was possible.

Not many adults retain those types of relationships and it is a shame. There should always be someone that you could tell anything, talk about absolutely anything and not worry about ridicule and feel the embrace of friendship. My husband is now my best friend and I feel so fortunate to have him.....but my heart does still ache for the friendship of childhood. Just a taste of it and the memories come flooding back and I feel whole again, even if just for today, I feel normal - whatever that might be and I feel that I lived in a time when we cared deeply and knew what true friendship was.